she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
