what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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