The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
