the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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