Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize