dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
