How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Im part way to drunk.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
