I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
