in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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