Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize