Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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