You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
