and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
