just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
