but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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