I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize