guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize