dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize