She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize