we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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