What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
