Buhtt sex?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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