Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
