I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
