i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Drake has all the answers
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
