I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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