I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
