like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
