i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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