Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize