So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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