im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
