Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
