that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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