There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
