That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
