you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
