She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
