I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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