I bet he comes in French.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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