i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize