Soap is not a condiment
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize