I think my fart just growled at me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
