do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
