I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
