Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just pee around me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
