If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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