Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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