miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
