i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
