If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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