We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
