If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
