Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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