Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
