there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
