9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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