Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
