i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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